Saturday, September 22, 2012

How, in the name of God, do you write your "fluff" scenes?

So, I've been wondering about this particular subject lately, since I have a big intimate scene coming up in my work in progress. The much anticipated (because everyone loves 'action'), evil (because it gives me trouble) "wedding night". I've put it off long enough, but I have to push on. The problem, however, is just how are you supposed to push on and write the damn thing?

Sure, I like the intimate scenes as much as the next person. I can read them, anytime, any place. Right, so how do you write one that doesn't sounds utterly painful - you know, throbbing, exploding members, engorged things I don't want to think about, and all that other strange stuff? They didn't prepare me for this when I was in school. 

Since my WIP is a historical, I have to stay within the bounds of 'sweet' as well. Granted, I don't have to, but that is my aim. The object is to write a book that is a bit on the sweet side with sprinklings of sensuality. 

Okay, sensuality is so very lost to me. I mean, what words are alright to write in a scene like that? Or aren't? 

Obviously I could never use certain words since I associate too many other things with them. Plus, some words are just a bit too "weirdo" to use for me.

Penis - Dave and his friends hung out in Australia, checking out an old penal colony. Suddenly, a flock of penii flew overhead.

Cock - You know, the thing that makes the most god-awful sound way too early in the morning. Also, this thing likes to chase you around when you are trying to score an egg from his fluffy, lady friend.  No sexual innuendo there, you just wanted an omelet.

Squirt - Ha, I can't read this one without laughing. When someone 'squirts' something, I envision a Super Soaker 500. Or, a rather nasty wound to an artery. Take your pick. 

Throbbing, Pulsating - While I like these two for some reason, I can't help but imagine "The Call of Cthulhu", with his throbbing, pulsating tentacled head. Plus, if a "member" is pulsating, I would probably be inclined to pause mid-action and wait for it to spring to life and talk to me.

I think you've gotten the idea. Right, so here's what I've come up with thus far in my WIP:

" “Please believe me. I want you as my bride. Will you accept that?”

She snuffled and nodded, and his heart soared. He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face. “Say it. I need to hear you say it.”

She searched his face closely before she uttered a tiny ‘aye’.

Her soft voice was his undoing. The last vestiges of his restraint broke. He lowered his head and captured her lips in a deep, consuming kiss. She yielded to his demand and opened to him, allowing him to sink further into her sweetness.

He slipped his hand from her back to her belly, and he felt her muscles tense under his fingers. With deliberate slowness, he slid his hand up her waist to the underside of her breast and cupped the plump mound in his hand. She stiffened, and he deepened the kiss, ravaging her mouth thoroughly. With his other hand, he loosed the ties of her gown, causing the neckline to sag. He caressed her pebbled nipple through the light fabric, and she moaned.

Calum guided her back to rest against the stable wall. He drew back from her mouth. Arabella made a sound of protest, but froze when he moved the neck of her gown to expose one pale, rounded breast. His hand molded around her delicate flesh, then lowered his mouth to the hard, rosy peak, pulling it between his teeth. The action elicited a strangled moan from her while her nails dug into his shoulders. A trail of fire rippled through his groin as she raked her nails up his neck and clasped his hair in her hand. She cradled his head close to her breast. Suckling the bud, his tongue lashed against her soft flesh. She tasted of sunshine, honey, and everything beautiful in his world.

His other hand dropped down her lush body, dipping below her waist to her hip. Calum knew she was unaware of her hips rocking against him, begging for his touch. Nothing would stop him from touching her in this moment.

He used his hand pull up her skirts, and trailed it up to her inner thigh. She panted in his ear, ruffling the hair at his nape. His hand found her soft curls, damp with her desire. He closed his eyes, and tried to control the aching length of his arousal. Christ, this woman drove him mad.

When she whispered his name on a breathy sigh, the last of his restraint shattered. He removed his hand from her breast and dropped it to the laces of his trews, his intention to bury himself deep inside her. His fingertips caressed her delicate folds. She was ready for him. He fumbled with his ties in an effort to free himself as he continued to stroke the soft petals of her core, readying her to take him.

“Laird! Have you found Lady Arabella?” 

Marcus’s deep voice from outside the stables broke through the haze of passion, causing them both to freeze. "

Cheese! When I read it, I get nothing but Velvetta. So, do you guys have any cool tips, tricks, hints, etc., that helps you write your intimate scenes? Any certain words you stay away from? Words you love? A favorite scene that is perfect in relaying the intimacy? Feel free to share with me. I'm all eyes! :)


  1. Hehehe - still chuckling at cock - bird making god-awful sounds.
    First off - do you need to get "specific"? Sex can be led up to and then done behind a closed door.
    Secondly - I copied an pasted your scene and will have a look see later. I have to go out this afternoon. I'll email it to you. I did liked what I read. :-)

  2. My scenes aren't very detailed, but I loved the build up of yours. Never heard of the word penii before.

  3. oo wow what a toughy. Because i write a lot of erotic romance i write a lot of sex. I kind of start out writing it like i am watching a porn movie describing what i am seeing. then i decide which way i am going to go do i sweeten it up and take all the harsh descriptions or do i push the envelope with it adding all those hard dirty words. I think what you have is good though in the stables doesn't screen intimacy to me. i always see intimacy as two lovers completely naked their bodies almost melded together there eyes never losing contact but hey that is just me.

  4. Wow, Melissa. I honestly like your scene--you kept it tasteful, but it's also very sexy and keeping with the time period.
    I don't think you give yourself enough credit. With a few tweaks here and there, I think you have yourself a scene.

    Here's one piece of advice that works for me when writing sexy scenes. You have to be in the mood--you have to FEEL the scene. If you don't get a little turned on, then neither will the readers. I know that sounds gross, but it's true.

  5. Brenda's advise to you is the same she gave for me. And it bloody well works! Plus I agree with everyone, your scene is tastefully written, sweetly steamy, and dialogue nicely written. A few tweaks here and there... We're our own worst critics when it comes to writing. Let others have a go at it and see if they don't think it's a well written scene.

    Good Job!

  6. I like your scene too, Melissa, and don't view it as cheese at all. I also agree with Brenda, you need to really feel the scene in order to make a big impact on your readers.

  7. I loved that! I thought that scene was really good. You have a good start and I think when the time comes for the full scene, you can expand one what you've got here. I would agree with Brenda as well, one thing I've found that helps me is to put on some sexy music (I like a few Barry White songs and Toni Braxton as well) which may be a little corny, but works for me. It may help to go back and read some of your favorite love scenes, either your own or someone elses, to get the ball rolling for you. Hope this helps.

  8. LOVE IT!! I cant wait to see the final outcome and I must asmit, I struggle with that part as well, the intimacy..FEL it as Brenda said- I have to remind myself of that too!

  9. Thanks for stopping in and commenting, ladies. You know I appreciate all your tips and the vote of confidence. Thank you! :)

  10. I too liked your scene, Melissa. I think it fits the time period well and is tastefully done, yet erotic. In my historicals I steer clear of the hard core language. I tend to think of it as steamy language, rather than the more coarse word choices I use in erotic romance.
    My best tip is to put yourself into the character's skin. I try to write my love scenes from deep third person POV. Like an actor, I try to experience what the character is experiencing because that's what the reader wants to do. And yes, you probably should get a little turned on by what you write--if it does that to you, it will do that to your readers as well.
    If you read some Lisa Kleypas, she's a master of the sensual love scene. Her Again the Magic was so hot I kept it by my bed for weeks, re-reading the love scenes. She's the one I try to emulate.
    Sorry for the long answer, but I hope it helps!

  11. Hi Melissa!

    I don't like the word squirt either and laughed when I read it here. It's just not a sexy word.

    As for your scene...I loved it. And I also agree with really do have to be in the mood. Any type of emotionial scene you have to be able to put yourself in the scenes, fight get the picture. I think that's why there are times when I'm writing and there is going to be one of those scenes and I'm not feeling it, I just type in "FIGHT SCENE" or "SEX" and return to it later when I can let myself get into that emotion.

    I do really like your scene though...smexy and sweet...nice job!!!

  12. Melissa,

    I think all romance is cheesy! But you know what? I LOVE CHEESE! It's like my favorite food! Those nachos you get at sporting events - the kind where the cheese never solidifies no matter how cold it gets -- How great are those! Your scene was beautiful and made my heart pitter patter.

  13. You've already gotten lots of great advice. I thought the scene was fine, nothing wrong with it. Love scenes are always difficult, no matter how many you've written!

  14. Loved your scene Melissa! No more interruptions tho, let him take her! teehee ;)

  15. I love your alternate discriptions! lol

    I agree with Brenda...what you wrote is great. Besides a few tweaks, I see nothing wrong with it.

    The only rule of thumb I use on these type of scenes is make sure it's natural for your characters. If it's right for them, you're readers will follow.

    Nice post!